Festival Fun

I have just returned from the Greenbelt Festival, an arts festival with an emphasis on social conscience and inclusivity, and I've had a marvellous time!

Me relaxing in a queue!

Just as Greenbelt was getting started we saw a spectacular rainbow. It was a complete arch, and extremely bright, with a second, fainter rainbow at its side. Although I tried to capture the moment in photographic form, my camera is not powerful enough to do justice to how beautiful it was.

Pretty!

Talks

I had the pleasure of hearing Clare Short speak on two separate occasions. One of her speeches was on the difficult Israel-Palestine issue, and her view that we should be boycotting Israeli goods in order to achieve a solution. The second was part of a discussion about electoral reform and Short's views on proportional representation and the possibility of major political changes in the near future. Clare Short is an inspirational speaker, famous of course for resigning from Blair's government over Iraq, and a woman who truly understands the nastiness of politics.

I also had the opportunity to hear controversial human rights campaigner Peter Tatchell. For many years he has been famous for his outspoken campaigning, mostly on LGBT issues. This particular talk was on the subject of queer rights (or lack thereof) in Africa. Although I do not agree with all of his opinions, particularly his often mendacious criticisms of members of the Anglican church, Tatchell is a key figure in highlighting the massive inequalities in humanity. While the picture is bleak, there is cause for hope, and the tent was full of people of all ages and sexualities who felt inspired. Many gay people came forward to give their own testimonials.

Fun!!!

On Sunday, I went to see Milton Jones, comedian of Radio 4 and Mock the Week fame. His series of surreal one-liners and amusing flip-chart doodles had us all in stitches. My friends and I managed to get into the queue reasonably early, which meant getting good seats in the balcony of the venue after a long-ish wait. We left feeling considerably happier, and sillier, and were delighted to have the chance to get to see some comedy at Greenbelt.

Yesterday afternoon we headed down to the Mainstage for Sing-a-long-a-Grease, which did what it said on the tin! As we watched the film on a big screen, lyrics appeared for the songs. There was a great feeling of togetherness as hundreds of people of all-ages gathered to join in. We all got on our feet for a rendition of Greased Lightening, complete with dance moves.

Jiving in front of Grease. You can see my friend Rach in her penguin hat!

Last night we had the joy of the Rockabilly Grand Ball. As a bit of a 50s-freak I'd been looking forward to this for ages. We began by jiving around to all the classic rock'n'roll hits, before the Dodge Brothers (featuring BBC film critic Mark Kermode on double bass and harmonica) appeared on stage for one of the most entertaining music sets I have seen. Everyone was dancing and enjoying the infectious brand of skiffle and blues. After the ball, my friends and I went to grab a cuppa in the Tiny Tea Tent, an environmentally-friendly mobile cafe with a hippy vibe and the best tea you can get at the festival.

The Tiny Tea Tent

As well as seeing music acts that I haven't mentioned and helping out in the G-source charity tent, we had a great time soaking up the atmosphere of the festival and browsing the various stalls. We each (that is, the three of us) purchased a silly animal hat, and enjoyed eating a great deal of chocolate.

Behold my pig hat... which mostly sits above my face.

Can't wait for next year!

J xxx

Tea and Temperatures... and a Poem!

I met up with my friends today in our favourite tea room, which was absolutely lovely, but I have also come down with a temperature. It's a really strange illness because I don't have a cold or a sick-bug or anything, I just feel numb and achey at the same time, and slightly nauseous. It's not pleasant.

Anyway, enough of my moaning. I wrote yet another Diamond Dogs-inspired poem earlier. It was a kind of two-minute activity so it's not particularly great, but I like some of the ideas in it (because they are Bowie's and not mine)...

***

Nights falls and

Once again we are here,

Clutching the remnants of our shattered futures,

Screaming as our skeletal sisters writhe in the doorways of

Those sterile skyscrapers.

You screeched into the cracked canvas of the night,

Shattering those infertile star-dots with your voice,

Breaking into the red desert of the polluted horizon,

A stark reminder of the bird-cries we have lost.

Graphically yours, we pray that you will sing,

Soften the shrieks and hum lullabies that will

Soothe us in our insomniac starvation.

***

Again, most credit goes to Bowie. <3

Dystopia pretty much made my life...

J xxx

Nature is a language, can't you read?

I've been playing the ukulele today, to banish some of the boredom I've been experiencing over the weekend.

My favourite tune to play at the moment is 'Ask' by The Smiths, because it's so simple (pretty much four chords, with an extra one thrown in for good measure). This is one of my all-time favourite songs anyway.

I really hope that I get good on the ukelele so that I can jam with my dad, who is annoyingly good at it, and also happens to play the guitar-- a skill that I have tried, and failed spectacularly, at gaining.

At some point I will think of something decent to post, or will be inspired by something I see.

J xxx

Book List of Doom

This morning I got the information about my modules for my first year of study at university. When I had finished being intimidated by how hard the course looks, I began to freak out about the length of my book bill. Oh dear... I can already see the student debt piling up into a massive mountain of doom.

I have mixed feelings about embarking on my course, but I am hugely excited about the prospect of living the student life. I am very aware of how horrible the places-scramble has been this year; I am extremely grateful for the opportunity that I have got and will try to make the best of it.

J xxx

Panic Over

Much to my relief, I've got the grades I needed for Durham. I didn't perform massively well this year, but my AS results were good so I'm in the clear. Thank God.

To celebrate, I'm off out in town tonight with the rest of my year-group. It's a fancy dress theme, and I've decided to go as Adam Ant. Because I am that cool. I'm very much looking forward to doing my makeup tonight... any excuse!!!

I've had many crazy outfits over the past few months (see my Queen of Hearts outfit below) and I never tire of the fun!

I intend to do some hardcore baking this afternoon. I know how to celebrate in style.

God, I LOVE DRESSING UP.

Best of luck to everyone for their futures.

J xxx

The Joy of Music

I get my A-Level results tomorrow, and I am absolutely terrified. My body is doing weird things, that are mostly outside of my control, and my quality of sleep has been really poor. I want to go to university SO much it hurts. I'm going to be inconsolable if I don't get in.

To distract myself, I'm having fun being an uber-vinyl geek. I'm listening to my iPod, plugged into my hi-fi, as I type because it saves me having to get up to turn a record over, but I've been having great fun listening to the b-sides of all my Beatles singles this morning. When I listen to the Beatles, it feels like Christmas. It's better than Christmas, because these days Christmas is a bit rubbish. If I need cheering up, sitting cross-legged on the floor like a little girl opening her presents and placing the needle on the plastic grooves is one of the best things I can do (short of baking: the most therapeutic activity in the world). I am in total awe of them. I just don't know how they are so damn GOOD after nearly fifty years. I want to hug them.

I'm listening to an overdose of 80s electro and New Romantic right now, because I'm loving all my classic rock and pop as I find it much more comforting that even my most beloved modern music when I'm not on top of the world. I guess it's probably because I've always been into it, I grew up with it, and it's always there like an old friend. And it's still bloody amazing. I don't know why 80s electro is so damn good... if anything, it's a little bit shitty, with all the fake instruments and lack of decent lyrics. I guess maybe it's the beat. I love the bass-line on Chant No. 1 by Spandau Ballet and the way Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark make their synths sound beautiful and varied, like a landscape.

Synthpop originated as a mainstream movement in the late 70s, even though bands had begun using synthesisers in the 60s (Beatles!). Once again, we have David Bowie to thank for his pioneering musical experimentation. After he'd abandoned his glam rock and plastic soul, he branched out into androgynous art-rock, and his use of synthesisers on Low and Heroes led to the huge influx of synthpop bands such as The Human League, Depeche Mode and Eurythmics, and New Romantic bands like Duran Duran, Spandau Ballet and Adam & the Ants. In fact, Bowie seemed a little bit annoyed that so many bands had taken his style and dumbed it down (his song Teenage Wildlife can be interpreted as a dig at all the young synth groups around), but I think inspiring such a golden form of pop is something to be proud of. 80s electro is still big today, and new artists are looking back thirty years for inspiration.

My geekiness went to new levels this morning when I started to sort through my vinyl and make a spreadsheet of it all... I've always been a bit of a freak in terms of organising my vinyl and CDs alphabetically, and then within each artist organising it chronologically from first album to be released to most recent. But actually using Excel to catalogue it all... I deserve to be shot. Still, I will go to extreme lengths to distract myself!

Also, both my parents are now into EA: Dad came into my room last night and asked me if I could put Enchant on his iPod. It seems my good taste in music is genetic.. ;)

xxx

When in Rome!

Greetings ye web-surfers!

I have just returned from Italy, where I visited Naples, Pompeii and Rome. Rome has now become my favourite city, and I am eager to go back there as soon as possible. It is absolutely beautiful, packed with history (history makes me drool) and as romantic as they say. I've been cramming Italian sightseeing into six days, meaning I have walked about seven or eight kilometres in intense sunlight everyday, in less than supportive footwear, and I now ache a bit.

I don't want to sound all pretentious or anything, but Rome really got me thinking about the incredible creative power that human beings have. The architecture and artwork in the city is really astonishing. Obviously, the Sistine Chapel is renowned for the quality of Michaelangelo's painting and I really did appreciate craning my neck to see God and Adam, but sometimes the less obvious creative works are the ones that bring the most joy. There were some beautiful examples of early religious paintings in the Vatican museum, and I enjoyed looking at the Caravaggio works in the end chapel of St. Luigi's church. Simple things like the elegance of a Roman column or cobbles on a street really caught my imagination, and as a complete sucker for anything beautiful or romantic, I lapped it all up like the cat who got the cream.

Another thing that I found powerful about Rome, and indeed the ruins of Pompeii, was the frightening power of time. I know I'm slightly obsessed with this subject, but once again I was reminded of how nothing lasts forever. My travelling companion Rachel made a comment as we were walking around: "Rome has more ancient ruins than it knows what to do with." It's true. You can be walking along a modest street or through a park and you will come across more ruins, unmarked, unimportant within the great ancient network of Rome. Everything is slowly crumbling over the years, and, while every effort is made to preserve the ruins, it would be naive to say that keeping all of it entirely sustained for another two thousand years is likely. Ironically, the destructive force of Vesuvius, which wiped a town and its inhabitants off the map, led to the preservation and discovery of Pompeii. Now it has been unsurfaced Pompeii is deteriorating, and, while there is plenty more to excavate, archaeologists are choosing to preserve the existing ruins of Pompeii rather than dig up more of it. Rachel pondered, "What will our buildings look like in two thousand years time?" It's quite a frightening thought.

Before I get carried away with trying to be deep, I will mention that the food in Italy is outrageously good. In Naples, I managed to get the most delicious pizza for €3. The prices were higher in Rome, but it was still worth every penny. And the gelato... Don't get me started on the ice-cream!

This was the beauty I had on Saturday!

I had a wonderful, if exhausting, trip in Italy. I will definitely go back!

J xxx

Glamour Modelling

I'm long overdue a feminist post, so here we go!

This morning, because I am a sucker for a crappy BBC Three junk documentary, I decided it would be fun to watch Glamour Models, Mum and Me on iPlayer. As the title suggests, the programme follows the fourteen-year-old daughter of glamour model Alicia Douvall. Unlike other mums, this woman is addicted to plastic surgery, has eyebrows and lipstick tattooed to her face, and wants her daughter Georgia to follow in her footsteps.

"Britney had her boob job at sixteen," Alicia says without much expression (after all, her face is paralysed), "which means it's only two years till you get a boob job." Hmm. She's also full of great advice for her daughter: "A woman is very powerful," (so far, so good) "This," she says, pointing to her body, "will get you far. That's the most important lesson you can teach your daughter." Oh dear...

Apologies if the wording is not quite right. I can't be bothered to rewind the programme and write the exact quotes.

There is hope in the form of young Georgia's brain, but it's painful to watch. She's a keen student, and repeatedly tells her incredulous mother that she does not want plastic surgery. Alicia wants Georgia to be an actress or a glamour model, and tells her that her chemistry homework is a "waste of time." When Alicia's breast implant flips and the family have to spend at least three weeks in LA, Georgia gets tearful at the thought of missing so much school. "I'll buy you clothes," Alicia says as consolation. Georgia's face says it all.

I'm not trying to criticise someone's parenting. After all, I'm not a parent myself and would have no idea how to raise a child. Instead, rather than focusing on Alicia Douvall's approach to bringing up Georgia, I'm focusing on the wider infections in society which causes stuff like this to happen. What kind of messed-up world do we live in? Why is it that women feel that their body is their ticket to success?

It's not that I have a problem with women taking pride in their bodies. God knows that would sound hypocritical as I am a bit of a poser myself. I'm not going to say that it's a good thing that I care so much about my appearance, because I know it's society that's done it to me and I know it's not always healthy. But what many models, especially glamour models, have in common is the feeling that their bodies are all they can rely on. Some people are, by society's standards, beautiful. Yes, some people have plastic surgery to feel beautiful even though they really look like deformed dolls. Some people just don't care, and that's enviable I suppose. But whatever we look like and whatever our approach to how we look, the human personality is the most important thing. Whether we are male or female, and whatever we look like, we all have our own intelligence. Whether we're academic or not, we all have talents and it is our determination, practicality and belief in ourselves that should, and does, get us places.

Alicia Douvall preaches that her body is her ticket to success. But is she happy? This woman breaks down at several points in the programme, acting like a stroppy teenager, and has deformed herself to feed her constant need for plastic surgery. As Georgia astutely puts it, "Surgery is a therapy that she doesn't need." The addictions and insecurities come from a childhood of abuse. It's not as simple as "being shallow."

If society nurtured a confidence in what's on the inside, especially in girls, perhaps we wouldn't have this messed-up glamour modelling culture. Perhaps people like Alicia, who have had painful childhoods, wouldn't feel the need to seek comfort in something that only brings more unhappiness.

The programme closes with Alicia having the shocking revelation that "Nine times out of ten, signing up to glamour modelling is a really bad idea." She tells Georgia that she doesn't need to "sell out." But how many programmes will it take before young people realise that glamour modelling is not a healthy aspiration?

Oh, I love a bit of junk TV.

J xxx

Raspberry Cupcakes

Last week I finally acquired a copy of my favourite recipe book in the world, Cupcakes from the Primrose Bakery. I've already posted the Earl Grey cake recipe from it, and now I've tried these AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS beauties, I thought I'd post them too!

Please have a go at them. You won't be disappointed. And you must make the white chocolate icing because there is something magical about the combination of white chocolate and raspberry. Yum.

Raspberry Cupcakes

(For 12)

110g unsalted butter, at room temp.
180g caster sugar
2 large eggs
125g self-raising flour, sifted
120g plain flour, sifted
125ml semi-skimmed milk, at room temp
1 tsp. vanilla extract
3 tablespoons good-quality seedless raspberry jam

TO DECORATE:
Raspberry jam (one teaspoon per cupcake)
White chocolate buttercream icing
Fresh raspberries

-Cream butter and sugar in a bowl for 3-5 mins until pale and smooth
-Add the eggs one at a time, mixing between
-Mix the flours together in a separate bowl
-Add vanilla extract to the milk
-Add 1/3 of the flour mix and 1/3 of milk to main mixture and stir
-Repeat till all used up
-Fold in the jam until most of it is combined. The idea is to have some jam streaks running through the mixture, rather than an evenly coloured batter.
-Bake cakes until golden brown and firm
-When they are done leave to cool then cut a small hole in the centre of each cake and carefully place a teaspoon of jam inside. You can warm jam first if you want.
-Ice the cupcakes with white chocolate buttercream and top with the raspberries

ICING

100g white chocolate
60g vanilla buttercream icing (consisting of butter, icing sugar and vanilla essence)
3 tablespoons double cream

Melt chocolate, mix into the buttercream icing, add cream and mix until very smooth and thick.

Enjoy!

J xxx

Gayest Post In A While

"What's being gay like?"

I love the Flanders and Swann parody from The Armstrong and Miller Show. This particular sketch closed the final episode of Series Two with lots of sparkle! I love these guys. I love how Armstrong rolls forward in the wheelchair while singing "who does what to whom." Genius.

I get asked lots of questions about homosexuality. It doesn't really bother me, but I think people think it's drastically different from being straight with different rules. Yes, it's different, but it's also the same. I think everyone has their own unique sexuality, and "gay" and "straight" are a little too black-and-white. Very few people are exclusively hetero or homosexual, and even if they are their sexuality will be much more complicated. Some people are madly horny, some people are asexual, some people only fancy people occasionally, some people fancy people but hate the idea of having sex, some people are sex-obsessed but hate the idea of emotional intimacy. Everyone is different.

I thought I'd share some of my own personal experiences here, not to sound like a narcissistic loser, but because personal experience is all I can really go on to explore the topic. It really interests me as a topic, and I love hearing about other people's experiences.

One of the questions I get asked a lot is, "What would you do if you fancied a guy?" This always strikes me as a little odd, almost as if the "right answer" is to seize the opportunity to be straight if it came my way. I was talking to one of my friends about this, and she pointed out that people ask the question because heterosexuality is the accepted norm so most straight people would suppress a gay desire if they got one, whereas it might not be the same the other way round. My answer to the question, however, is that I think I probably wouldn't go along with a straight crush unless it was so strong that I would never forgive myself. So if I fell madly in love with a guy, I'd willingly fall into his arms (such a bizarre thought!). However, as this is unlikely to happen, this is all hypothetical. If I got a slight crush on a guy, I'd probably ignore it because my whole identity, my world-view and my aspirations are all based around the idea that I want to spend my life with another woman: it's like my purpose. I would worry that my overwhelmingly gay sexuality would never forgive me if I denied myself that purpose. Would I spend my whole life feeling incomplete, like I’d sacrificed my whole sexuality?

Maybe this is wrong, maybe I should be open to sexual experiences outside of my cutesy little lesbian world. It makes for interesting debate!

Also, people ask me what it's like having to come out (because "certain folks' intolerance puts a spanner in the works!"). Answer: easy to some people, hard to others. I'm totally open with my peer group. Our generation is so much more accepting. However, I've not told my friends who live in other countries because I have no idea how they view homosexuality. Telling your parents is the hardest thing in the world, and fortunately I was spared that horrible inevitability thanks to a good deal of alcohol and a friend who can't keep his mouth shut! I don't really talk about it with my parents, although occasionally they will make a lame joke about it. I'm ironically a bit like a 1950s housewife, bustling around the kitchen in my polka-dot clothes making tea and cakes, and Dad always makes sarcastic comments about what a good wife I'll be.

My extended family don't know yet, but I don't see why they should because you don't generally discuss your straight sexuality with your grandparents (weird!), so why should I discuss my homosexual one? Coming out is an annoying process, and it has to be done, and sometimes people will make nasty comments or hate you for it when they don't even know you. But it does get easier every time you do it. The first time I ever told anyone was excruciatingly difficult, and I don't think twice about it now. It makes you stronger.

And as to what being gay's actually like: you fancy people, you fall in love, you get hurt, you have fun, you stare at hot people in the street, you set attractive people as your computer backdrop, you have celebrity crushes, you dream about getting married... It's just like being straight.

xxx

p.s. Speaking of celebrity crushes... yumyumyumyumyumyumyumyumyum

The Continued Saga of Bits and Bobs

Greetings, all!

I haven't updated for a while because I've been having fun in Shropshire, and I came back so exhausted and down-in-the-dumps that I could barely string a sentence together, let alone write a coherent blog-post. I've woken and cheered up a little bit today, so here's another offering of bits and bobs.

1) My spin-off blog, J's Creative Mess, has been updated (finally). I barely update this blog, and I can't be bothered to add all the stuff I've made since the last post before today, but I will try and keep it better updated from now on.

2) I've been following the new BBC drama Sherlock, which places the famous detective in modern-day London with a Dr. Watson fresh from the War in Afghanistan. I was initially sceptical about the idea (as a hopeless romantic I quite like the whole gas-lamp and horse-drawn carriage thing) but was delighted to find myself enjoying every minute. Benedict Cumberbatch's performance as Holmes is true to Conan Doyle's original creation, and the scripts are energetic, full of suspense and also very funny. It's like Doctor Who for grown ups; the tall dashing hero and his fast-learning companion run around the city solving crimes with an air of enigma, and they're super-cool too. It's great. I've always loved Holmes, but in light of all the new excitement I've been reading the original Victorian version of A Study in Scarlet and enjoying it immensely.

3) Speaking of Victorians... While I was in Shropshire I visited my childhood favourite, Blists Hill Victorian Town. I've been there more times than I can count. It's an open-air museum that aims to provide an authentic experience of life in an ordinary town in the 19th century. I last visited in 2007 with my friend Rachel, and was keen to repeat the experience this time with Ellie. I was, however, disappointed to find that it has changed, and not for the better. The new visitor centre is rather pointless and extravagantly expensive, the new street is built in pastel shades that reminded me horribly of Disneyland, and they've even started building literal rides: a miniature train for kids and their unfortunate parents (how is a mini-railway authentic Victorian?!) and a model hay-inclined plane that, I believe, can be travelled on by visitors. The worst thing was the fish'n'chip shop that has sprung up on the new road, Canal Street. Fat British tourists can come and get their "authentic Victorian experience," and a good portion of chips. It annoys me considerably. Why do we always need everything to be a sugary, sanitised, "entertaining" experience? Tssk, there are times when modern life pisses me off.

Still, the old Blists is still there. The chemists, bank and doctors' surgery are still as they always were, and if you walk down to the bottom of the site the old squatter's cottage, toll house and the original hay-inclined plane can be found.

Despite the slight irritation I had a good day and purchased this card in the printers shop. (I can't work out to reverse the mirror image on Photo Booth, but you can probably work out what it says.)

I will try and write soon!

J xxx