Sexuality and Stereotyping

Bryan Safi's latest That's Gay segment on Infomania, while as hilarious as ever, has got me thinking about the ways in which people are judged on the basis of their sexualities.

There are certain expectations and stereotypes that apply to everyone in society, from straight girls, who are expected to live up to the double-standard of being 'pure' and 'sexy' at the same time (see Jessica Valenti's writings), to gay men, who are expected to be 'fun.' Anyone close to me knows how pissed off I get with the idea of the 'gay best friend.' As Terra and I were discussing the other day, whilst watching That's Gay together, words such as 'flamboyant,' 'fun' and 'wild' are often used interchangeably with 'gay' in rather euphemistic way.

It's extremely messed-up, and no one is immune from stereotyping and uncalled-for judgement. Celebrity culture doesn't exactly help: women, especially, are ripped apart in the media for being too sloppy and therefore 'ugly' or too falsely beautiful. According to the magazines, female celebrities are too fat, too thin, too fake, too real, overdressed, underdressed, too pale, too orange, too attention-seeking, too reclusive. All of this is linked to sexuality because, all-too-often, female celebrities exist as heterosexual sex-symbols, and this is extremely difficult to pull off in a sick society with a double-standard for its women.

We live in a society where a particular sexuality is immediately inferred from a person's appearance. Of course, stereotyping wouldn't exist if it didn't have at least a small foundation in reality, but today's society has such a distinct and therefore damaging idea of how a straight, a gay or a lesbian person looks and acts. We all do it, we all assume: over Christmas I met a woman who I immediately intuited was gay from her appearance, and was later proved right. Around about the same time, I befriended a charming heterosexual girl whose close friends are, for the most part, gay; she assumed that I was straight, presumably because I don't look like I'm going to hop on my motorbike to go and get my twentieth piercing and a trim to my mohican. Stereotyping can hurt, especially in coming out situations: anyone who doesn't fit into a stereotype is going to have a harder time coming out because loved ones won't always see it coming. Equally, those who do appear to fit into society's idea of a gay, bi or transgendered person is more likely to suffer homophobic abuse.

As for Johnny Weir: I think it is really, really sad that America has judged this excellent skater so much on his 'flamboyancy.' Weir's sexuality is, like for most people, an intrinsic part of his identity, and should not be scrutinised by the public. Those who dislike Weir because of his lack of 'masculinity' should go and consider their own prejudices, and think about the negative effect of stereotyping in our sick world.

Hooray for Bryan :)

J xxx